he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
