I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
