I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
