it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
