This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she smelled like a LAN party
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
