she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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