R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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