Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So many bounce houses so little time
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
