I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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