My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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