i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
