Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize