Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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