peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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