i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
