So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
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Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
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I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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