Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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