somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize