I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
