I am full of burrito and curiosity
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
