his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
