Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hope mine doesn't look like that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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