Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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