I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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