on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize