i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
