fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
