You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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