pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
