you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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