He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
