Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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