the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
