Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
