id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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