just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize