lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
