That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How naked do you want me to be?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize