you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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