You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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