is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
