Do vagina's smell?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lo siento on account of my penis...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
