He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize