please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
