everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
