So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is the high leading the old right now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
