the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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