Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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