i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
