ugly people sure do ruin things
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
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she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
third nipple confirmed
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You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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