Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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