That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
