O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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