I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
two words: eviction party
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
