oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
